The Climb to Sobriety: Day 17

The urge to drink isn’t here, the urge to smoke is.  The worst part is that I am angry, all day.  I’m always a second away from snapping over anything.  Yesterday I lost it on my boss, who is a dear friend of mine so I feel bad about that.  Sent him an E-Mail this morning explaining what’s on my mind.  Basically I am broke, stressed out, and it seems my job changes drastically everyday.  It’s not necessarily that part that bothers me, it’s mainly money.  Money is everything these days, without it people don’t even respect you.  I just want to get my career on track, unfortunatley it doesn’t start till January, and I don’t have the money for it yet.  I’m sure anyone who has tried this can understand how frustrating it is.  You start a new life (for me, dealing with my alcoholism and smoking) and somehow you don’t spend a dime, yet you have no money.  I swear I had more money drinking and smoking everyday, then I do spending $50 a week on food and gas.  It’s just very, very frustrating for me.  Sigh…